Cable girl: The Price of Beauty

"You know me as a performer and as a fashion designer," says Jessica Simpson in the opening moments of her new series The Price of Beauty (MTV). Stifling our immediate response, which is to shout "There are 18 points of order I wish to raise with regard to that assertion, Ms Simpson", we are then given to understand that she will be travelling to different countries on "a journey of beauty . . . because I want to find it in myself." It is of course a tribute to her own country's spirit of optimism that Simpson – who (performance artistry and fashion designing notwithstanding) is most famous for being bewildered by a tin of tuna that referred to its contents as "Chicken of the sea" – has been allowed to embark on any kind of journey outside her home perimeter, let alone one that involves exposure to different cultural norms. She arrives in Thailand and delicately picks her way across unmade roads in six-inch heels to Wang Lang market. They stop, inevitably, at the fried insect stall. "I thought – how are you going to do this, Jessica?", confides the Paul Theroux of MTV later to camera. "You can't even eat salmon." With loud retching sounds, Simpson and her entourage – Gay Man and Best Friend With Vibrantly Mispelled Name – choke some down. Perhaps they told her it was the Beef of Bangkok. Their guide explains that in the 95% Buddhist country they have a belief that true beauty comes from within and that meditation is the way to access it. Forty minutes into a meditation session with a monk, she and Cacee get the giggles. It was all taking a lot longer than they thought it would, Jessica explains. At a makeup stall Simpson is introduced to the concept of whitening creams and a country that prizes paleness above the tan. This baffles her even more than snack food. They drive home in "a little thing called a tuk-tuk. I still don't really know what that is." It's been a shorter journey than most.