Birmingham City v Wolves - as it happened

Here we are then, everyone's second-favourite West Midlands derby. Wolves are now second bottom of the Premier League after Burnley's win yesterday and need a win like John Terry needs a quiet Sunday. Unfortunately for them they've found goals hard to come by of late – especially while Mick McCarthy perseveres with Kevin Doyle up on his lonesome in attack. Still, it's not like they're playing against the stingiest defence in the entire western world today, so expect a 6-5 thriller. As has been discussed at length, Birmingham have been quiet the dark horses this season, which throws up a question I asked during the Angola v Mali MBM, but no one answered because only nine people read it. I call it the Dark Horse paradox, namely: If a dark horse is a team that has an outside chance of winning a tournament then the better it gets the better its chances of winning the tournament making it less dark or less of a horse. Conversely if it gets worse then it has less chance of winning also making it less dark or less of a horse. Oh, and here are your teams: Birmingham Hart, Carr, Johnson, Dann, Ridgewell, Larsson, Ferguson, Bowyer, McFadden, Jerome, Benitez. Subs: Taylor, Phillips, Michel, Fahey, Vignal, Jervis, Gardner Wolverhampton Hahnemann, Zubar, Craddock, Berra, Ward, Foley, Henry, Mancienne, David Jones, Jarvis, Doyle. Subs: Hennessey, Elokobi, Ebanks-Blake, Surman, Vokes, Mujangi Bia, Guedioura. Referee: Lee Probert (Wiltshire) A brief nod to the NFL ahead of tonight's Super Bowl Birmingham are quite clearly the New York Jets. Plucky overachievers whose unexpected success is based on a strong defence. Any suggestions for Wolves are welcome, I'd put them up there with the Scottish Claymores or maybe even the Frankfurt Galaxy. Meanwhile, on Sky they're so excited about this game they're discussing the Chelsea v Arsenal game, John Terry and the great value Thomas Cook holidays represent for the average family. 1 min: And we're off, following a minute's applause for Birmingham's legendary goalkeeper Gil Merrick, who passed away last month. "It surely becomes less dark if the 'dark horse' is doing well," says Tim Nicholas-Twining. "The 'dark'(ness) simply means it wasn't expected to do well in the first place but might, the suggestion implies, be something of a challenger since it is unpredictable/hard to judge - hence the allusions to 'dark'. All of the competitors are 'horses' of course." Apart from Wolves. They're wolves. 2 min: Carr breaks down the right after a nice lay off from Jerome and eventually wins a corner. The referee – incorrectly – disagrees with him and it's a goal-kick to Wolves. 4 min: Ferguson dinks the ball to Bowyer who steals into the box. A fantastic challenge clears the danger for Wolves though. McFadden then wins a corner after his shot is deflected behind. Birmingham can't do anything with it but they're by far the better team at the moment. 6 min: More Blues pressure. Benitez wins a corner – Blues' 98th of the game – and as the ball comes across goal Mancienne blocks Jerome's goal-bound header. 7 min: Wolves first glimmer of attacking intent. Ridgewell's weak header is picked up by Zubar, whose cross flies over. 9 min: Benitez spreads the ball out to Carr, who is dispossesed by Matt Jarvis. Wolves break but they can't quite calm themselves in the box and the move comes to nothing. 11 min: McFadden's jinkery wins a, you guessed it, corner for Birmingham but a huge punch from Hahnemann gets rid of the danger. 14 min: Hart's kick goes on a wee sojourn in the Wolves head before bouncing at the feet of Larsson whose dipping volley comes this close to causing Hahnemann a serious problem. OK, maybe this close. 15 min: Wolves' best chance. Doyle holds the ball up well in the area and his cross is headed clear by Carr as Wolves steam in. 17 min: Another Birmingham corner. The ball flashes across goal after Benitez heads back across the six-yard box. Hahnemann saves at the feet of Jerome. Blues are dominating but have yet to carve out a clear cut chance. 19 min: A vicious, whipped corner from Wolves that Hart does well to clasp to his chest. "You might be able to compare Wolves with the Cleveland Browns. Both teams wear orange and are terrible," says Mike Murphy, who presumably comes from Pittsburgh or West Brom. 22 min: Dann gives away a free-kick around 35-yards, David Jones stands over the ball. Henry taps the ball to him, he flicks it up and volleys just over. A lovely effort. 25 min: That effort obviously inspired Wolves. Hart brings down Doyle just outside the area and escapes with a booking. Jarvis doesn't go for any of that volleying nonsense and whips the ball into a crowded box and Birmingham clear. 27 min: Dann is allowed to run half the length of the pitch, presumably because Wolves are confident he'll panic as soon as he gets within 20-yards of goal. As soon as he gets within 20-yards of goal he panics, wanders towards the corner flag and loses the ball. Clever chaps at Wolves. 30 min: Blues mount a series of attacks that Wolves fail to completely snuff out. The saga eventually ends with Bowyer's header being gathered into Hahnemann's loving arms. "Nope, I'm a Browns fan – and a Marcus Hahnemann fan, so I'll root for Wolves," says Mike Murphy with a resigned air. "I'm just stating the obvious." 32 min: Carr has been enthusiastic all match and launches into Jarvis's legs with relish. The ref doesn't like it though and Zubar rises to connect with the resulting free-kick about 3mm out. He does well to miss it by about 33m. 34 min: You wouldn't exactly say Blues are weathering a storm of attacking play from Wolves but it's definitely a bit of a squall, maybe even with a spot of drizzle and an attacking throw in. Wolves' latest free-kick ends with a foul on a Birmingham defender in the box. 36 min: Birmingham break and as Jerome and Bowyer bear down on goal Bowyer has his heels clipped. Jerome is forced to go on on his own and strikes the ball at Hahnemann's knees. Then Dann goes close, volleying a loose ball just wide. The Great Wolves Squall of 2010 is over. 38 min: Corner to Wolves. Jarvis takes. Berra heads over. That was simple. 41 min: McFadden overhits his pass as Benitez scampers into the box. Things would have been pretty tricky for Wolves if they'd linked up. Wolves then exploit some untypically hesitant defending from Blues but Foley shoots straight at Hart. GOAL! Birmingham 0-1 Wolves (Doyle 41min) Wolves deserved that too. Johnson deflects a cross on to his own post and Doyle was there to tap home with Hart sprawled on the ground. 43 min: Larsson waits to take the free-kick after Jerome is fouled on the edge of the area. He should probably have waited a bit longer because the ball flies a long way over. 45 min: Mancienne can't cope with Benitez's pace and concedes a free-kick and a yellow card. The ball eventually finds itself on Dann's forehead, shortly before finding itself dribbling apologetically away from danger. Half-time: Birmingham end the half with a penalty shout as Zubar pushes a Blues player in the box. It's safe to say Alex McLeish isn't happy with the ref, judging by the interesting colour of puce he's just gone. Birmingham probably should have converted their pressure in the first half an hour into a goal but their defence looked oddly shaken after Johnson's booking and Wolves exploited it well 46 min: We're off again. Here's Niall Harden: "Apparently Jedward are about to 'perform' three songs on the pitch at a rugby league match! I'd give anything to see that. Imagine it'll be a bit like when Daphne & Celeste at the Reading festival. Can't see them lasting more than a minute." They can probably use some of the substances hurled at them as makeshift hair gel 47 min: Jones picks up a booking for a backseat fumble with Benitez. 49 min: Carr gives the ball away to Foley in a horrible position for Birmingham but Wolves can't exploit and Blues clear. 51 min: Wolves win a corner and have clearly been buoyed by finding themselves in the bemusing position of leading a game. The bemusement leads to them wasting the corner. 53 min: Benitez does what he does: namely wandering about a bit before losing the ball. Wolves surge up the pitch but they can't connect with each other in the box. 55 min: Now it's Birmingham's turn to counter-attack but Jerome stumbles as he shapes to cross. They gather themselves again but Larsson's cross goes straight to a Wolves defender. Bowyer then volleys wide. 57 min: Wolves remind Birmingham they're still in the game as Doyle pokes just wide. "I'm attempting to postpone an essay on the 'literature of anorexia'," says Niall Caldwell. "Besides refreshing your MBM does anyone have any decent procrastination suggestions?" You could go and pelt stuff at Jedward. 59 min: Birmingham win a corner, although seeing as it took them three dozen of them to create a half-chance in the first-half, we shouldn't expect too much. Yep, it's cleared. 61 min: Ridgwell brings the ball down in a promising area on the edge of the box but he's offside. 63 min: Kevin Phillips, 86, takes the tartan blanket off his knees, puts down his People's Friend and warms up. Meanwhile, Benitez doesn't look too healthy after being clattered by Hahnemann. Well, you wouldn't either in his position, would you? Phillips comes on for Benitez. 65 min: Phillips almost springs on the ball. I'm not sure, but Benitez still looks like he's getting treated on the sideline. He's had knee problems in the past. 68 min: Doyle, who has battled up front on his own admirably today, draws the foul from Danns and the defender picks up a booking. Everyone ignores the resulting free-kick that almost bounces into Hart's left post. Guedioura is on for Jones. And Gardner is on for Larsson. 70 min: Johnson flops the ball into the path of Jerome but Birmingham still can't muster a shot to trouble Hahnemann. Benitez is stretchered off the sidelines towards the changing room. 72 min: Birmingham wait patiently for an opening that never comes. "Wolves are particularly vulnerable to OAPs. I remember Steve Claridge, two seasons after being a useless has-been for us, scoring a hat-trick against us for Portsmouth at Fratton Park. The last one went in off his zimmer frame," laments Kevin Porter. 75 min: Kevin Phillips, 92, tries a long-range effort with the emphasis on tries and effort. "That's three former Villa players on for Brum now - Ridgewell, Phillips and Gardner," says Niall Harden. "I sometimes think Birmingham just sign Villa rejects because they don't have to move house and it saves everyone a lot of bother. Plus, it gives the crowd more scope for pantomime abuse, which is always a plus." I think it's the new revamped Digbeth coach station that's keeping them in Birmingham. There's no need to leave the city now. Fahey is on for Birmingham. 76 min: Bowyer tries a one-and-a-half footed tackle on Mancienne. Another half a foot and he could have been off. Foley shoots straight at Hart. 78 min: Wolves have out-Birminghamed Birmingham so far. They've withstood early pressure, snatched a scrappy goal and then defended stoutly. I'm not sure Birmingham enjoy straying from underdog status. Birmingham nearly score! Jerome gets in front of Hahnemann who loses sight of the ball and the ball is stabbed just wide in the ensuing scramble. GOAL! Birmingham 1-1 Wolves (Phillips 79) Fahey's clever ball is chipped to the far post, the ball's headed across goal and Phillips, 99, finishes easily. Not bad for an old man. 82 min: An interesting contrast between Benitez and the man who came on for him, Phillips. Phillips has a fraction of his pace and none of his tricks but is a far better finisher and has changed this game within a few minutes of coming on. GOAL! Birmingham 2-1 Wolves (Phillips 85 min) Carr rips down the right and the ball is eventually comes to the chest of Kevin Phillips, 21, who spins and volleys a wonderful finish past Hahnemann. "See!" cries Kevin Porter, whose email I was expecting. 87 min: Barry Ferguson and Henry are booked after the Wolves man clatters his opponent who indulges in a spot of pushing. 89 min: Mick McCarthy has just replaced Barry Ferguson as the angriest man in St Andrews, stomping up and down the sidelines incensed at a decision that goes against his team and Birmingham's sneaky use of pensioners. 90 min: Four minutes of injury time. Bowyer is booked. 90 min + 2: Barry Ferguson is named man of the match, presumably to calm him down. Birmingham are happy to run the ball into the corner. 90 min +4: Hart dives on the ball as Wolves mount a final(?) attack. PEEEEP!!! Birmingham come back to win. Alex McLeish didn't manage to buy the dead-eyed finisher he was looking for in the transfer window. It turns out he already had one.