Westminster digested

Osborne: Foxy's walked the plank. Cameron: Thank fuck for that. Fox: I'm just too good a friend. Cameron: Who's that? Osborne: No idea. Sounded familiar. Cat: Hello everyone! Cameron: You're not still here as well? Cat: 'Fraid so. Just a few more questions. May: Before you're deported … Hague: To Venezuela … Cat: Did you go to Liam Fox's wedding? Cameron: I haven't a clue. I go to so many really dull events … Werrity: Oh Liam! David can't even remember coming to our wedding … Fox: My wedding, Adam … Werrity: Stop splitting hairs. Mi casa, su casa, mi ministerio, su ministerio. Letwin: Don't be too hard on Cams. I get hundreds of letters from constituents whining about the closure of their local hospital. I just chuck them all into park litter bins. Osborne: Help, Cams, help! Cameron: What's up? You look terrible. Osborne: It's inflation. It's up to 5.2%. The economy is in tatters. I can't go on pretending I know what I'm doing … Cameron: Pull yourself together, man. You've got a good job, right? Osborne: Er, yes … Cameron: And you've got millions stashed offshore … Osborne: Er, yes … Cameron: So what's the problem? Come on! Haven't I always said "We're both in this together"? What was the point of having acquired our effortless sense of entitlement from going to Oxbridge, if not to tell the little people we know what's best for them? It's not as if they can look after themselves … Osborne: You're so right, Cams. But what do I do about the economy? Cameron: Who said you had to do anything? With Labour after Foxy, no one gives a toss about inflation. Milidee: Could the PM say how many other ministers had access to Werrity and how much money Foxy shoved his way through party donors? Cameron: Absolutely not, you annoying little shit. Now bugger awf. Fox: I'd like to make my resignation speech now. Cameron: I'm off now … Fox: If I did do anything wrong, I'm a wee bit sorry … Cat: The House is empty, loser. Turn the lights out when you leave. Hague: My Lord, Venezuela has fallen.