The Back-up Plan

In this grisly romantic comedy, Jennifer Lopez plays a New York pet shop owner who, lacking what her support group ("Single Mothers and Proud") calls a "penis partner", gets artificially inseminated on the very day she meets the man of her dreams. He's an organic cheese farmer (Alex O'Loughlin), who turns out to be happy to act as father to her forthcoming offspring. But life is never that simple, and many a pregnancy test is made, vagina probed, nappy changed, bag of amniotic water broken, before all is over in this tale of orisons and orifices. Not since General Jack D Ripper in Dr Strangelove has a movie character been so obsessed with precious bodily fluids.