World Cup 2010 paper view: England v USA and Nemanja Vidic to Manchester City

You'll not be getting any sense from the papers today: England are on. So we'll be ignoring all the hot air . You're better than that. OK, this won't take long. Manchester City are preparing to help their neighbours United by tipping £20m down that big black hole at Old Trafford and making off with moaning Nemanja Vidic , who has a right face on him these days. If Sir Alex Ferguson can grab a few of the notes, Crystal Maze endgame style, before they go down the swannee, Manchester United will spend half of the money on a replacement in highly rated Danish defender Simon Kjaer , the Morten Olsen de nos jours . West Ham have offered Everton £6m for Yakubu . David Moyes wants closer to the £11.25m he gifted Middlesbrough for the striker, a stance in no way solely designed to save what little face he can. £11.25m, though. Birmingham want Reading's Shane Long . Reading don't want to sell. Indian businessman Saurin Shah wants to buy Blackburn Rovers . And if there's ever been a sign that we all should pack in those lame decade-old US-and-etymologist-baiting Soccerball gags – note to funnymen: the word "soccer" was coined at a British university in the 19th century – it's on the front of the Sun: HERE'S HOPIN' THAT ENGLAND UNITED SHOOT SOME TOTALLY AWESOME STRIKES PAST THE GOALTENDER IN THE SOCCERBALL WORLD SERIES TODAY . Imagine how pleased the sub who wrote that zinger will have been with himself – and think on.