Marseille v Arsenal – as it happened

Preamble: Arsene Wenger said yesterday that the reason Arsenal have performed better in Europe this season than domestically is because they are under less pressure when they play in the Champions League. That is surely bilge: the most pressurised matches of their season were the two against Udinese, the second of which produced their best display so far. Secondly, guys who can't handle the pressure of taking on Blackburn or Newcastle have no business playing for Arsenal. Thirdly, Arsenal will surely be under pressure tonight: Marseille may be spluttering in Ligue 1 but they've cruised so far in Europe and they have some nifty players who will be well up for it tonight, viz Andre Ayew and Mathieu Valbuena. A draw wouldn't be a bad result for Arsenal but since they can't play for a draw they will try to go for the win, which will suit OM, who like to rip at opponents on the counter. So this should be a pleasant game. Aside: I have a friend from Scotland who is a fervent Marseille fan because (or so his story goes) once, when he was in his teens, he came home late and was locked out of his house by his angry and slightly sadistic parents to teach him a lesson. He had no choice, apparently, but to go sleep in the bushes in his local park, where, happily, he bechanced upon a coat that provided a smidgin of warmth and solace during a frigid Aberdeen night. It was a blue Olympique de Marseille coat. He fell in love with the club there and then, and vowed to support it just as well as the coat did him on that fateful, bastard-cold night. Personally, I think he just swigged a bottle of whisky that gave him a comforting winter glow that he mistook for exotic French clobber, but the question all this raises is what, dear readers, are the oddest reasons that you have come across for people to support a team? Teams: OM: Mandanda; Azpilicueta, Diawara, N'Koulou, Morel; Diarra, Lucho, Cheyrou; Valbuena, Rémy, Ayew Subs: Bracigliano, Gignac, Traoré, Amalfitano, Sabo, Roland Arsenal: Szczesny; Jenkinson, Mertesacker, Koscielny, André Santos; Song, Arteta; Walcott, Meh, Arshavin; Van Persie Subs: Fabianski, Ramsey, Djourou, Gervinho, Chamakh, Benayoun, Coquelin Referee: Damir Skomina (Slovenia) 7.29pm: Here's the first of your 'strange reasons for supporting clubs' stories. "Hello," greets Tim Osgood. Hello Tim, what can we do for you? "I wanted to share with you why I am an Arsenal fan. I had the FIFA Soccer 95 game, and because I had no Internet access and the nearest store that sold World Soccer or When Saturday Comes was 60 miles away, I knew nothing about the Premier League or any of its clubs. When my World War 2 obsessed, belligerent teenage self saw "Arsenal" on the list of teams in the game, I knew they had to be my team. Even when I started reading about George Graham's handiwork in the transfer market, I stuck by them. I think I made a decent choice, overall." So you picked them for their name? I imagine Eleven Men in Flight, FC Honka and Mysterious Dwarves have sizeable worldwide followings for the same reason. 7.32pm: The Vélodrome usually has one of the best atmospheres of any ground in Europe - a proper heaving madhouse - but tonight's capacity is severely reduced by renovation work. Dommage. 7.39pm: The fans take to the pitch, with Van Halen's Jump blasting out over the PA. Splendid! "I've become an honorary Toluca fan because the person that cleans my office, Rodrigo, is a Mexican that supports Toluca," hollers Jad Chamseddine all the way from Washington DC. "I have an Arsenal jersey in my office and one day, he left his Toluca scarf in my office and since then we try breaking the language barrier and discuss the Mexican national team, Chicharito and of course Jorge Campos. I actually follow Toluca now, and watch all their games, despite not understanding one word the commentators say, but they definitely sound better than Jon Champion." 1 min: Off we go. And off the ball goes, hoofed out of play by Marseille after less than 10 seconds. 3 min: Arsenal have had the better of the somewhat tepid opening exchanges, probing gently down the right through Jenkinson and Walcott. 4 min: Song booked for a making a desperate lunge after losing possession. Freekick to Marseille about 25 yards, to the left-hand side. Valbuena curls it tamely into the keeper's arm (that last sentence was for the benefit of Meh, who may not have bothered to watch). 6 min: It's quite open so far, and quite error-strewn too. You get the feeling that this will peter out into a drab 0-0, or become a madcap 3-3. "What's going on with the kits for OM vs Arsenal - is there a reason both teams are in changed kits?" wonders Harold Dyson. The reason is marketing. 9 min: Promising from Arsenal! They zipped the ball about well before pinging it out to Walcott, who's determined to get chalk on his boots tonight. He delivers a good cross that van Persie meets ... but the Dutchman had strayed fractionally offside. 10 min: Meh, or Tomas Rosicky if you want to use his given name (though I doubt he's bothered one way or the other), has had no influence on the game so far. I don't know whether he cares. 13 min: Jenkinson inexplicably handles the ball when under no pressure in his own box. Ayew demand a penalty but the ref waves play on. Ayew is baffled and very, very angry. His protests earn him a yellow card. And manager Didier Deschamps is getting a stern talking-to from the fourth official on the sideline. 15 min: Arsenal are becoming quite ragged. Their lack of a real leader is again apparent. Andre Santos cops a booking for clattering into Valbuena. "Our window cleaners in Manchester were a father and son," recollects Don Fitzpatrick. "Dad kind of adopted me and took me to see his son play for Crewe Alexandra. In 2009 , his son, Peter Leigh, was voted fifteenth best crewe player of all time. The glory. I've been hooked since 1962." 17 min: Jenkinson has been the subject of much criticism since joining Arsenal but one impressive thing about him is that he has not let that discourage him from venturing forward at every opportunity. He galloped down the right to good effect just now, clipping in a fine cross that required an urgent intervention by Diawara. 20 min: Nearly a goal for Arsenal! Arteta clipped in a corner and Diawara cleared Van Persie's looping header off the line. 24 min: Van Persie holds the bal up front while he waits for support, which eventuallyt arrives in the form of Meh. The move soon comes to an end. "I can't believe there's another person called Jad in the Washington DC area who is also a Gooner and reading the MBM today," goshes Jad Sooney. "My name is Jad too but I don't discuss football with my cleaning lady. She's a sweet old thing, probably 60ish, maybe from China, not sure. She only knows a few words like 'hello' and 'vacuum?', not much of a basis to discuss the demise of Arsenal. She does know 'trash' though, so that would cover quite a bit of the season so far I suppose." Does anyone in Washington do t heir own cleaning? 27 min: Arsenal could have a problem here: Jenkinson is down injured. Actually, he's just got back up but he doesn't look particularly comfortable. If I were Marseille, I'd be getting Ayew to run at him and test his fitness. 30 min: Arteta threads a good ball through to Andre Santos, who provided an overlap for the first time in the match. His first touch was shoddy so the shooting chances evaporated but he still managed to win a corner. Which came to nothing. And now, a tale to bring a tear to your eye. "I was born in Kingston upon Thames to Irish parents, and lived, till I was seven, in Hounslow, under the main approach to Heathrow airport - Concorde would rattle the Dinky cars off my windowsill," recalls Julian Gough. "I didn't know professional football existed. Then my family moved home to rural Tipperary, where for some historical reason every boy supported an English football team. They kept asking me who I supported. I'd never heard of any of the teams, and, this being Ireland, it didn't even occur to me that they were all English. I had the vague idea that the world's best teams of all nations just played each other at random, like in the world cup. So I studied the back of my dad's newspaper, read the match reports, looked at the photos, and picked the team with the best name. Thus - under the impression that they were a Mexican team, named after the brother of top revolutionary Pancho Villa - I gave my heart to Aston Villa. The moment, years later, when I discovered Aston Villa were, in fact, from Birmingham, was perhaps the saddest of my life." 34 min: Lucho should have scored! After some OM probing around the box, Valbuena dug out a decent cross and Lucho ghosted between the two centrebacks ... and then just tried to prod the ball into the net from seven yards rather than give it some welly. His connection was too soft and the ball wafts wide. There is a lack of precision about this game in general. 38 min: Arsenal piece together a sustained spell of possession they cannot summon the speed or unpredictability to infiltrate. Yet. 41 min: Arsenal's dominance of possession is growing. They've forced a series of corners over the last couple of minutes and the keeper doesn't look comfortable in dealing with them. But his defenders are diligent and have prevented Arsenal from forging any clear shots at him. "How the hell can Julian Gough have lived in Hounslow till the age of seven and not gone to Griffin Park!?" demands Jon Burfitt. "I first went there when I was four - and I grew up in Staines ." Didn't we all. 45 min: André Santos takes the ball down around mid-way with his arm: not a clever thing to do when you're on a yellow card. The ref is content to just award a freekick and wag his finger at the Brazilian as if to issue a final warning. Meanwhile, the generally low quality of Arsenal's crosses from the right has angered Kwame Cinquez, who thunders: "Walcott and Jenkinson: the worst right-sided Gooner partnership in the modern era. They truly symbolise the regression of Wenger's men." Who agrees? Half-time: It's been a funny sort of game. Some nimble play by both sides around midfield but a depressing lack of quality around both boxes. Let's hope it improves in the second half. 46 min: We're back. And Jeff Mann disagrees with Kwame Cinquez [45 min]. "Jenkinson is far too new to make such a claim," fumes Jeff. "Let's face it - in very recent memory suffering through Eboue and Bendtner on the right was excruciating. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is a more natural winger than Theo and with Fab riding the pine at Barca moving back to a 4-4-2 would allow Theo to partner RvP up front where I believe he would flourish. Two bona fide wingers in Gervinho and AOC with a healthy Wilshere and Ramsey in the engine room feels like a solid front six." 49 min: The first-half pattern continues, with Arsenal enjoying plenty of possession but not quite being able to conclude their build-ups with a killer pass. Billy Kavanagh, meanwhile, wants to kill Kwame Cinquez's claim about Arsenal's right. "Walcott's delivery has always been poor, but Jenkinson is playing very well, nullifying the talented Ayew with ease," he declares. 53 min: Arteta wrongly penalised after Ayew tumbles while attempting to turn. Freekick to OM, about 25 yards, but too far to the left to shoot. Valbuena curls in a cross ... but OM are called back for offside. 56 min: Rémy drops a dangerous cross into the heart of the Arsenal box and it sparks chaos! Three Arsenal defenders joust with Lucho and Ayew before Song eventually scrambles it away. 60 min: A nice, patient intricate build-up by Arsenal, featuring slinky footwork from Arshavin and a crisp pass to Van Persie from Song. Unfortunately Van Persie didn't catch his ensuing 20-yard shot with the purity that he normally strikes, and Mandanda makes a comfortable save from 20 yards. 62 min: Jenkinson, who has played well, succumbs to that knock he picked up earlier and his substituted. Djourou comes on in his place. 64 min: Chance! Another patient approach by Arsenal, and a misjudgement by N'Koulou, results in Walcott suddenly finding himself eight yards out with a clear shooting opportunity. His first touch isn't great and N'Koulou, attempting to atone, distracts him with a lunge: Walcott's shot is straight at Mandanda, who swipes it away with his foot. 67 min: Arsenal substitution: Gervinho on for Walcott, who had another frustrating game. "This is depressingly like watching a Europa league tie," groans Ben Yelton. "Two decent solid teams just without the guile or skill to be genuinely good. If only I could find the remote to watch something else." 69 min: OM change: Ayew off, Gignac on. My colleague Ian McCourt has been consulting Opta and has come up with the following damning stat: Arsenal have attempted 28 crosses vs Marseille so far, yet not one has reached a team-mate 72 min: Another Marseille substitution: Lucho off, Amalfitano on. Yes, that really is the highlight of the last few minutes. 74 min: Djourou booked for ... winning the ball off Morel. 76 min: The next time you are arguing with some over the problems of the Champions League group system, and if you're denouncing it, cite this rotten game as Exhibit A. 78 min: Arshavin, having contributed little, is taken off and replaced by Ramsey. 80 min: The lack of anything worth describing on the pitch gives us cause to wonder why there has been a lack of anything worth describing on the pitch. Billy Kavanagh has some ideas: "Why does AW insist on playing wingers when our lone striker, RvP, drifts so often, and Chamberlain not getting a place over Walcott for not having the ability to defend as well is lunacy." 82 min: "It seems that when playing a team you don't know but are wary of, the safe thing to do is 'nothing'," mourns Paul Taylor. "Yielding matches like this one. How about a 'no draws' rule for European competitions? Or golden goal?" Golden goal was awful. And abolishing draws is misguided. However, giving neither team a point for a goalless draw is definitely worth a try. 85 min: A fine bit of trickery in a tight space takes Gervinho past Morel, but N'Koulou comes across to snuff out the danger before the Ivorian could cross or shoot. 86 min: OM change: Kaboré on Cheyrou. 89 min: "This has the look of a game that's just petering out," suggests Clive Tyldsley on ITV, about 40 minutes late. 90 min: Arsenal nearly snatch victory at the death! Good work by Gervinho outside the box, followed by a neat ball through to Van Persie, who had made a clever run to blindside the defence. Mandanda charges off his line to blocks Van Persie's shot. GOAL! OM 0-1 Arsenal (Ramsey 90+2') For a team that has gone all out for a goalless draw since half-time, OM have just defended very badly. Djourou did well to win the ball on the right and then curl a long cross towards the penalty spot. Gervinho went up for it but missed it, and it ran to Ramsey, who had come in undetected at the far side of the box. He takes on touch to control it and then sweep a low shot into the net from 16 yards. Arsenal deserve that insofar as they were the most enterprising and accomplished team in a low-quality game. Full-time: Arsenal's persistence paid off. Marseille's negativity, and late negligence, was righteously punished.